19th
the unraveling.
There’s a dull roar tugging at my heart , and my bones are soar from where the joints are worn. I sink a bit beneith the weight of it, and gently exhale settling the roots of this. I’m not letting you control this - it will not bleed over me because the ghost of my memories reminded me how to be free…. Its time to go.
As I exhale the last bit of you sneaks out and everything I’ve known till now is screaming at my feet…..yes….I understand this. And so the definition of insanity sings.
I heart you. I heart all the days between now and then. The mystery of your contract to me was a beautiful neccessity, but an inability to say the least.
The best of you is in my back seat bonding with that devil that seems committed to me. I can see Ireland on the horizon, can see the mountains beneath Orion’s feet.
Its going to be a rough haul you know, however many months may lie ahead of me - and I’m bursting a bit at the seams. I need to reclaim that eccentric honesty that gave birth to the best of me……I’m so full there…..it seems.
I need to pick it up…and twist it and shift it and swap. I’m ready to accept the edges of this, I’m ready to disable this knot.
I’m ready to heal here, but I haven’t forgot - the rough edges that tomorrow brings,the sharp edges of all the days I may be distraught.
- Temna Fialka 2011
